But, how was it in the beginning before you were married? Stephen J Betchen D. Visit the Lifeclass homepage. When a partner feels trapped in an unhappy relationship they tend to consistently find things wrong with their partner: The way they smell, the way they eat, the words they use.
Does your wife also miss the spark? Discuss it frankly, and consider embarking on separate programmes of physical and mental self-improvement to help each of you improve your self-image as confident i don t find my wife attractive sexually attractive individuals. Within your relationship, do you think you and your wife may have become overly enmeshed? Sometimes, when people become too alike and cosy together, sex goes out the window in place of a kind of familial relationship. In such a scenario, attraction becomes blocked because it unconsciously seems like incest.
He had a full head of blonde, Byronic curls and a killer smile. Better yet, he was a one-woman man who fell deeply in love with Maggie. Two years after college they married and quickly had three little boys. Eddie carved his way into a prestigious law firm while Maggie stayed home to raise their boys. As Maggie explains it she often worried that Eddie might lose interest in her. She'd put on a substantial amount of weight with the birth of each baby. She sometimes felt she was a little boring "just being a mom.Man Finds His Wife Unattractive - Now What?
But Eddie's love never wavered. Finally, when their boys hit high school, Maggie had a lot more time for herself. She decided to drop those extra pounds and started taking tennis lessons at the local rec center. Ironically Eddie had entirely given tennis up while Maggie began to love it, getting so good she competed in local competitions, muscular women site winning trophies.
I think you're making a lot of judgments about stuff you don't know anything about. Calling a person names, especially one so demeaning as "disgusting" falls into this category. Her description of their sex life sounds as if it borders on something quite questionable. Again, any person who is posting this private information on a comments forum such as this is likely crying out for help.
I recommended Shawna seek professional help in each of my responses to her. Again, it seems like the other poster's story is really triggering something for you. You seem to be feeling some pretty deep emotions yourself. I get it. Life's not for wusses, is it? We have to be pretty strong just to hang in there. But, there still isn't enough information to make a ton of judgments about someone you've never talked to.
I don't know if that's helpful or harmful. Worth thinking about. Seeking help is good advice. Thank you all for taking the time to share your thoughts and concerns. I truly appreciate it. I feel it would be relevant to explain that he suffered a brain aneurysm in while in the Army stationed in Panama.
However, it doesn't affect his ability to physically function. I have tried to explain why I feel like I do and his role in it. I know he loves me and for every other aspect of our marriage, we are a great team. I'm actually friends with both his ex-wife and ex girlfriend and they have both hinted at a less than stellar sex life with him and they fit his fantasy mold of type.
So I believe he is perhaps "grey-asexual" I'm still trying to understand all the asexual categories. I'm going to give all of this some thought and prepare as best I can i don t find my wife attractive have i don t find my wife attractive open conversation about all of this with him.
I realized after reading your comments that I've never asked him how he feels about a lot of this. I wonder if because I'm not asexual, if he feels possibly threatened. I'm not sure.
I see I have a lot of uncovered territory I came from a European background family with pressure from parents not to break engagement because of shame to the family. Being a good obedient, daughter got married despite no physical attraction.
Their idea of good husband was based on wealth, similar background and university education. Only when you find true love out together 9 months 5 of those months we were a great distance apart Spent years bringing up kids who have grown and left home I agree with all points above. When there is no physical attraction I find it impossible to be affectionate, or try to please him.
Sounds shallow I know. I am taller than him and 8 years younger Impacts other areas of my life, including my self confidence. Now live with regrets, sad almost depressed. Is it worth continuing in a marriage like this? I am in the same exact boat as you. However I am a bit younger and and am raising three children under the age of 8. I feel miserable for myself and sad that my spouse cannot have someone who desires him. Religious pressure and culture is what brought my husband and me together.
I am staying together for the children, but I may leave once they move on to college. Life is too short. If your kids are grown, go search for love.
When Your Spouse Is No Longer Attractive To You: Sexual Dissatisfaction
Marriage is a unity of two people together as one. After many years of marriage, you may have learned how when one person hurts, the other hurts as well. Therefore, divorce off non-legitimate grounds will only cause more harm than good for both of you in the long run.
If you try to leave the marriage to look for a relationship out of a Nicholas Sparks novel that will make your heart race all the time, then you will never find it.NUDE OLDER WOMEN BIG TITS
Such relationships fade as quickly as they started, and anyone who would actually go to such lengths for a person they barely know is rather insane or is manipulating you to their own benefit. I get that the relationship was initiated for shallow reasons, yet that does not mean that authentic love cannot grow now.
People tend to love those that love them, so initiating the kinds of romantic and caring gestures you know he would like will overtime be reciprocated by him. He might already be aware of these emotions of yours whether you know it or not, so choosing to still love him and appreciate him would definitely have him respect you and love you more.FREE DATING WITHOUT REGISTERING
Also, I feel like if you absolutely despised his character and his looks then you would have done everything in your power to reason that with your parents. There has to be something there. It will just take time, effort, communication and determination for it to grow and produce what you truly want and need; like taking care of a garden.
In Europe lack of affection is a legit reason to divorce. So many years of the marriage have passed and I think there is no reason to torment yourself. You have one life. Enjoy at least a bit of it. Don't most of us initially choose someone to get to know because we find them physically attractive, and then claim we fell for their character. Looks first, character second. That's how the world is and THAT's shallow. Each to their own. Most people are not looking i don t find my wife attractive a Nicholas Sparks Novel type scenario, they want to be with someone they are attracted to and that's fair enough, perhaps unlike you did not have the foresight to think about that.
Instead of being unhappy all her life and make him miserable, and potentially make life harder for any future children, its best she leaves now. You live your life as per your values, it's not applicable for others. Yes, but you know what? There are people who are SO attracted, get married, and then the life happens. And it's not always fun. That makes the attraction go down the drain like nothing. Ideally the whole package is best, but I'd rather have no attraction and a great guy, than the opposite.
I have a friend who started dating a guy even though she was not very attracted. She ended up marrying him, and although it took a long time, the attraction grew, and now she said it's not even about the attraction.
SO, this is not a one -solution- for- everyone kind of thing. This article is great, it was like taken out of my mind and tongue, also the comments are very helpful to expand the subject. However it does not present any possible solutions to fix the problem or at least some advice on how to improve the attraction situation or lack of it. In my case, I am not married. I am 29 years old and have a lovely girlfriend that is very attracted to me, however I have the exact problem presented on this article.
Because I think she is such a great person i don t find my wife attractive I love her emotionally I really want to make my relationship to work out. I don t find my wife attractive please if anyone can give me some advice or point me in direction of someone who can. I don't want to give up.
I have dog owners dating site that I can make it work. By the way, I am not gay, I am attracted to women Thank you!
There is a concept that I've discovered recently called 'sexual biography' and 'erotic script'. When you think about experiences that were exciting for you, what comes to mind? Was there only one kind of people or situation?
Did the script vary or was pretty much the same story? Was 'the other' always the same person? I believe all these questions can help you discover more about yourself and also how to relate to your partner. Our need for stability known conflicts directly with desire excitement comes a lot from the unknown. Good luck!! Thank you so much Paula for your advice.
You are a lovely person for taking your time to give me a helping hand here. It was very interesting for me to meditate that most of the things that turn me off about my girlfriend are not even sexual. Are little details. From they way she touches me she is always grabbing my ass or touching my face and removing pimples from it Like for example: She always makes fun of everything that is "feminine" as if it is something stupid and superficial.
Things like putting some make up, a dress, dancing, all those little details. And then if she does put on some make up, a nice dress or whatever, she always makes sure that I know how hard it was for her to do it, how annoying, stupid and superficial Currently I love her like one would love a little sister I've never had one but I am guessing here. I don't want nothing bad to happen to her and I want her to be really happy. I think I could even take a bullet for that woman How crazy is that!?
Thank you so much for the concepts and the book recommendations. I will explore them for sure and come back to share my findings. I am absolutely passionate about this subject, so believe me when I tell you it was a real pleasure. If you would like to talk more about this, feel free to email me at paula[dot]refreitas[at]gmail[dot]com.
I don't find my wife attractive anymore
It may all sound like a lot of work. But the alternative is to slip back into your old ways, prove your manhood with those girls waiting for you at the bar, let your marriage slide and slowly become estranged from your son.
That is a pretty grim picture, too. So please, take a deep breath and seek help - not from me but from somebody who is fully trained and qualified to give it. Https www facebook com find friends browser doctor is the place to start.
Have you had relationship difficulties that have been resolved with professional help, and if so, what sort? Or do you have a completely different problem? Thank you for understanding that I cannot reply to each individual letter. If I do use your letter, I will change the names.
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Saturday 27 July Lifeclass: 'I don't find my wife attractive'. Andrew Dear AndrewThis is a grim situation, isn't it? Health Advice. My husband gives me no love. My husband loves sharing me with his friend but My husband says he loves me — but is not turned on by me.
My husband shows lack of interest in me. My lover has cancer. My man does not satisfy me in bed. My man is still involved with his ex. My man says he needs more freedom and more space. My pals reckon that my boyfriend is jealous because I do my own thing.
My partner has been raped twice and I can't stop thinking about it. My partner is 'cold' towards me. My partner is depressed.
My partner is too argumentative. My postnatal depression has affected my sex life. My wife and I don't make each other happy any more. My wife and I have argued more in the last three years than the previous My wife is suffering from depression and that affects our relationship.
My wife lives like a single woman. Problems after childhood abuse. Should I don t find my wife attractive seek counselling i don t find my wife attractive my relationship problems? We still care for each other but what can I do? What should I do about my unfaithful girlfriend? Why does my wife go out to nightclubs with hen parties? Why is my ex-girl friend playing these games?